I recently shared a video on my Instagram about this topic, and here’s a little more.
If you have followed me for a long time, you might have noticed that I rarely show with galleries. What most people don't know is that galleries take a 50% commission on anything they sell. That is the absolute standard and anything you see otherwise is a scam. It seems high, and it is.
That is not the reason I don't show with galleries. I am more than happy to pay 50% to a gallery when they hold up their end of the bargain. Which brings me to my story..
Why I don't show with galleries goes back to 2011-14. I started my career in San Francisco and had my first couple of solo shows with Justin at Shooting Gallery / White Walls. At the time, it was an established gallery that showed a lot of big artists. I was in my early 20s, it was all very exciting, I was young and naive and didn't really understand much of how the art world worked, but I was figuring it out as I was going along. Building the plane while flying it, so they way. I thought he was my friend, but I always felt like I needed to ask for the money I was owed.
In 2012/13 my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and I spent the next year and a half traveling between the Bay Area and San Diego to help support my family, then back to my art studio to work and prepare for my shows. (All of this spans from my Ritual, Muses and Bloom exhibitions) I did that drive so many times, I lost count. The only thing that really brought me comfort during the 8-hour drive by myself was listening to the audiobook of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, which was one of my dad's favorite books (and mine). I swear I have that entire book memorized.
While all this was going on, Justin was continuing to sell my work and not tell me, and I only found out because someone messaged me on instagram showing me the painting they had just bought.
I felt like if I had sold more I would have been paid faster, or if I was a better artist like the others he was showing he would pay me on time, whatever, I had so many stupid reasons in my head. None of that was true and none of that was on me.
Meanwhile my dad is dying and Justin is giving me excuses as to why he can't pay me, and I'm comforting him?? It’s so messed up. Which of course I can see now.
The excuses kept coming and it became apparent that I wasn't going to see any of the money I was owed. I picked up my remaining pieces he had at the gallery and left. I tried being understanding, tried laying out a payment plan for him to make installments. Nothing. And I was not alone. I was just a drop in the ocean to all the others he had fucked over.
In 2014, after my dad passed, I had to leave my studio and everything behind and move home to help my mom. I didn't have an art studio for a year, but I turned her garden in to my studio and found a way to keep working. ( Most people that were following me had no idea any of this was going on. I’ve always been very quiet about my personal life, for various reasons, mainly privacy. I’m opening up to you more now though. )
So, I did not get paid for my art. He owes me somewhere around $15,000-$20,000 that I'll never see. He closed the galleries and disappeared. I didn't even want to talk about this for years, when people speak out you never know how things get twisted back on them.
It took me a while to get angry about it. At first I was just sad, and I was scared to do anything. It basically took one of my best friends forcing me to stand up to him to try and do something about it. I felt I wasn’t good enough, I felt I had failed. On top of that, I had just lost my dad, was going through a breakup, leaving my studio behind, which was my entire world, and was not feeling strong or emotionally in a space to do anything legally. My heart was absolutely broken for so many reasons and it took a long time to heal.
I did end up taking legal action against him, from the other side of the state, but even that I knew nothing about. A date was changed and we weren't told, so an appointment was missed somewhere towards the end of the process and the whole thing was thrown out, not that I was hopeful to actually get the money I was owed, even if everything got finalized. My friend told me it was important to stand up to him anyway, regardless of the outcome, to not let him take advantage of me and people like me. There was absolutely no question of his guilt, everything was clearly written in emails. But, I was small potatoes, what he owed me was nothing compared to what he owed the other artists, so I didn't feel like re-starting the process when there was no guarantee I would actually get paid after spending all this time and money and effort when he disappeared and there was no way to serve him.
I own my part in that I did not ask enough questions, I didn't demand being paid in a timely manner, I let certain behaviors slide that I shouldn't have. I was warned by other artists but took too long to listen, I felt like it wouldn't happen to me, he's my friend!
He wasn't my friend. People you work with are not your friend. I don't say that in a pessimistic or mean way, it's the reality, and it's not a bad thing. If you know that, and know that people are usually in it for themselves, you can act accordingly and adjust your expectations. It's a hard one for me, as someone who is generally trusting and believes in the good in people. I don't think it's a bad thing to be in it for yourself, they do say to put your oxygen mask on first, but I think the best scenarios are win-win situations where everyone benefits. I'm okay with a gallery using me, I'll use them back, as long as it's mutually understood and agreed upon I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I know I did nothing wrong. I painted paintings, he sold them, I was not paid. I was naive and clueless about certain things and the way the world works and the way people in positions of power operate. Understanding and signing a contract is one thing, but being able to follow through with it to make sure things are being upheld is something else. I was too shy and insecure to be able to confront anyone about that. Please may I please have the money I earned if it’s not too much trouble? Ughhh it’s bullshit.
I’m not mad at my past self. She didn’t know, and I’m still learning and will always be learning.
I am very proud of the shows I had there and nothing will take away from that. Muses is still one of my favorite collections I've made, even if I only got paid for some of it. The openings were always so much fun and I got to meet so many of you. The work will long outlast the situation.
In some sick and twisted way, it's a badge of honor to be screwed over by a gallery. The system has been using and abusing artists for centuries, for as long as artists and galleries have existed. So most likely for thousands of years. It's a time-honored tradition! I'm part of a club. And being a woman in the art world just adds a whole other dimension to the equation, which is an entirely different conversation for another time.
Sadly, this is common. When most artists are rarely in a position of power or financial freedom to call the shots, we are forced to take whatever scraps we're given by the gallery and thank them for it, because we "do what we love for a living" and that should be payment enough.
The system is set in its ways, and I was so discouraged by everything I experienced I just lost all inspiration and motivation to work with a gallery. With social media becoming more and more popular, I knew that things were changing and it wasn't necessary to do the gallery route as a fine artist anymore. I could do my own thing and blaze my own trail. I knew I had to adapt and will continue to do so.
Social media is far from perfect, and that has also been its own journey, but it does allow me a type of freedom that works for me, as long as I don’t retreat back in to my shell and hide away from the world (every once in a while is ok)
I'm not against working with galleries and I'm not anti-gallery. There are plenty of artists that have very long and stable careers going the gallery route and have a good artist/gallerist relationship. Because at the end of the day it comes down to relationships, and if I'm going to get in to a relationship with a gallery, I want it to last me a long time. I will give it my all if you will too.
We just won't be "friends", but we can be friendly :)
